I once owned a horse by the name of Gulliver.

I once owned a horse by the name of Gulliver. Best damn horse around these parts. She'd dance. I mean, honest to God, dance if you started playing "Hotel California" around her.

"Another brick in the wall" and "Start me up" were other of her favorites. She would just dance all night long to these classics. The other horses were jealous of Gulliver, and one

by one they kicked him until he was bruised and bloody. Gulliver was small for a stallion but boy could he dance. It wasn't long before Herbert the gilding strutted in and took us

by storm by his magnificent Gynecomastia. Like two haunches on a quarter horse, giant sacks of flax seed. As the stallion boy danced they clapped, louder and louder

as the music got faster. That day in the Gynecomastia, showing off his cutie mark in dancing for the first real time, the stallion was happier than ever. But this is not his story.

silly for such a stalwart blacksmith as himself. Eugene McFlippermustacheaplapperfrimpleson (AKA Jim Buck) met a lady, Doris Piggerflogginhidebridedeho. "I need some horseshoes."

'Whatever for, my dear?' Eugene McFlippermustacheaplapperfrimpleson asked. It was then he realized Doris Piggerflogginhidebridedeho had two robust horse legs. He had fallen in love

with a centaur. *Gulp* Eugene gave her a shiny package to unwrap. Inside she found a note entwined with an exquisite, shimmering object. Doris read aloud, "One Ring to Bind you,

and a ring to eat your soul. After her soul was devoured by the horrible demon inside the ring. The centaur and her rode into the sunset. Ah half animal, soulless husk love.