"Yeah, there are listening devices in those

"Yeah, there are listening devices in those little white beeper things." Said Ted. "You mean they're listening in on us?" The Barrista's felt naked

and in danger. It was as if they were in a zone -- of danger. The Man listened in on their shrieks of existential horror. Ted tried to hide behind the Lowfat Red Raspberry Muffins,

but their healthy temptations were too much to overcome, & soon he'd eaten his cover. Ted escaped the mini-mart & drove his Yugo down the highway, but it only led him into the zone

Of nothingness, a landscape filled with anaesthesial remnants of what used to be known as apps. The sordid highway to hell featured motels advertising cheap rates for rooms, but

shinola because I'd learned my lesson with telling it apart from other more unsavory piles. The upside of the nuclear holocaust was that no more neighbors were hogging bandwidth so

my high speed internet was now cooking with gas. Oh, did I mention the poison gas attacks? They might be the reason I get nada on the web but "page unavailable" notices. Can't win.

"Okay Sir. Thanks for heads up information. Did you try to reboot our modem?" "No can do. I'm just toasting some canapes on the fritzbox." "Sir, our modem is not intended for

..." And then the modem booted to life with a few beeps and a gurgle of static. "COSMIC ALERT: Something went wrong on Earth and we must expand to save the civilized worlds." I rea

lly didn't want to be the savior of the universe, but I supposed somebody had to do it. *SIGH* I pushed the expansion button & the worlds returned to normal. All in a days work!