I saw it. Yeah, they said it didn't exist.

I saw it. Yeah, they said it didn't exist. But it did. I smelled it at first, deep in the Amazon.The rare Obese Purple Toothache. Obviously it smelled like rotting teeth. A dentist

told me it was incurable, and that eventually my teeth would turn into fangs.

I immediately began considering all the nu-wave goth looks I could work.. Ruffled shirts, acres of crushed velvet, a penchant for Nine Inch Nails, the excitement was all too much

and I became careless. My ruffled shirts became stained with gore. I left my victims drained of blood, lying where I dropped them. This did not please the elders, who

were clinging desperately to the old ways. Didn't they realize that humans were food? Humans were farming cows in cages and slaughter houses. Why weren't we serving them up with

for an end to all the fighting over the bodies, since Carl was the best-tasting. But then a new idea came to light: what flavor shake would they serve?

Chocolate & Flesh, as it turned out; a mixture of vat-grown human meat and chocolate ice cream whipped into an ice-cold frothy beverage. Mmmm, delicious! This solved their problem,

they took as much as they could, pouring it into barrels and shoving the barrels into the pick-up truck until it was full. Then they drove to the nearest zombie sighting location.

"Brains on Wheels" with vats of pickled brains from the neuroanatomy lab was another stillborn business plan. Any zombie will tell you: Nothing beats the taste of a thinking brain!