I keep falling asleep at the worst possible

  • I keep falling asleep at the worst possible moments.

  • E.g.: "Ladies & gentlemen, your captain here." <yawn> "To your right you can just make out the Sierras." <huge yawn> "We'll be arriving in L.A. at ZZzzzz.." I've also dozed off dur

  • ing...<yawn>...during....ZZzzzzzzhmufffzzzzzzzz...... I woke to the smell of burning jet fuel & scorched flesh. Whaa? I looked around. I was the lone survivor. This was my fault!

  • But whatever. Exploring my jungle surroundings, I discovered the ruins of a lost stone city. I found a snug and dry building so I salvaged what I could from the plane and moved in.

  • I had never heard of a city of lost stones. What kind of faith did they break to be so treated? Still, a lost stone city was going to keep the night's rain off my back as I took st

  • ock of my situation. I was in a lower level temple for a cannibalistic lost tribe that ate itself to extinction because they were the best tasting. I have no food or water & no cel

  • l phone connection. I was lost in this ancient cannibal temple, with no understanding of how to get out. That was when a door slid open, and a bunch of cannibal tribe members came

  • at me with knives and forks and forced me into a giant cauldron of hot water and carrots. It was then that the cheif cannibal's daughter Hocapontas came in and declared me unkosher

  • And they would have to circumsise me being feasting on my flesh. I was thrust out of the cauldron, my skin visibly bubbling from the water, bent backwards over a rock and held down

  • tightly. What a lousy birthday this turned out to be.



  1. LordVacuity Jul 05 2019 @ 22:09

    Wait a minute buster, you don't know what Hocapontas is going to do next. She might have an idea or two when it came to circumcision Your birthday isn't over yet until you get your last present.

  2. StigMartyr Jul 06 2019 @ 00:12

    I'm certain I typed out "before," not "being." Damn phone!

  3. Gibber Jul 06 2019 @ 12:26

    I cut PurpleProf's guilt trip pretty short.

  4. PurpleProf Jul 06 2019 @ 14:36

    HAHAA! Yeah, Gibber... Funny, though...

  5. Woab Jul 06 2019 @ 14:58

    I loved it. I killed everyone but ...whatever. And Toog's last line was epic.

  6. SlimWhitman Jul 20 2019 @ 08:24

    The whole thing's epic.

  7. Woab Jul 29 2019 @ 14:18

    We're only 6 away from 100 likes on this one! Will we make it?

  8. IceSquad Jul 29 2019 @ 14:42

    So long as the pilot stays awake.

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