Bob Drane was the company’s vice president

Bob Drane was the company’s vice president for new business strategy and development when Oscar Mayer tapped him to try to find some way to reposition bologna and other troubled me

meats. He knew that he was the man for the job. Bob had been a fan of Oscar Meyer since childhood. He distinctly remembered the "hot dog mobile" that often passed his house.

Everyone wanted to drive the Weinermobile, right? Bob knew he had to ace the interview. He knew all of the cuts of bacon, the different types of hams, what hotdogs were really made

of, I mean not many other candidates would know that, right? Bob would study all day and dream about the Weinermobile at night. During the interview he almost choked on a hotdog

goal. To prove Weinermobile worthy, he attended Broadway shows, got chills when he heard Cher sing, and began drinking cosmos. Oh yeah, and he put weiners in his mouth every

opportunity that came his way, which wasn't really that often. Weiner lose, he never sausage a competition to perform in the next Oscar Meyer commercial. He practiced all day long.

He had to. He couldn't spell. As a rebellious 1st grader, he shunned the conformity of language and took a whimsical approach. He showed up at tryouts. "O-Z-K-R-R. My bologna has a

second name, it's M-I-I-E-R." I turned to my teached with my little 6 yr-old grin. She was NOT amused and gave me a big red mark on my paper. She was going to keep me late again

and I was thrilled… Before marriage my wife found my odd fetishes cute, but now after 10 years she's grown weary of playing along, which suits me fine, for she is truly not amused.