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Machinery. He'd pay for it if it didn't make

  • Machinery. He'd pay for it if it didn't make his gut empty, and heart ache.

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  • Since he fled without paying for it, I concluded that the machinery acted as a soul-crushing laxative. How an LG washer/dryer pulled this off was beyond me. Maybe he just stole it

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  • with real amazing whimsy. He was known as the Whimsical Burglar.

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  • Then he was known as the Bhimsical Wurglar. After that the Bhimsilar Wurgle. And finally the Wursilar Bhimgle. Shunning the midday sun, female society and crisps he skirted the fri

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  • tatas with jalapeño infused bacon and sprinkled them with feta cheese. Outside a platoon of Her Majesty's Fusiliers were milling about awaiting orders from HQ.

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  • Her majesty had been in a bad temper all morning, due to her new, strict diet. She gave orders to the fusiliers to obliterate the castle kitchen so that she could order carry-out

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  • At Lou Malnati's and have extra spinach on her pizza. The manager was to check the order. After all, Her Majesty the Queen was one fussy customer. She had been spoiled by being

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  • able to order anything on her pizza pie. Not this day...Popeye had eaten the supply of spinach on hand and they did not have any for the Queen! The manager decided to try

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  • something new and asked his chef to prepare a creamed iceberg lettuce recipe fit for a queen. A little green piece of lettuce stuck in her tooth just as the TV interview was starti

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  • ng. Half way through the interview he noticedit. In a fit of embarrassment he yelled, "This is for all the Cookies!" He lept into the air kicked the cameraman in the head and ran!

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