The men just fell down from the walls to

  • The men just fell down from the walls to sit at the table, all around me. Empty eyes judging, weighing my failures. The blind mutes preaching their Darknesses, their transgression,

  • their nakazaniye, their forgiveness, their forgetfulness, their table manners -- or was all that just me? I had eyes and a tongue, and so I looked at the blind mutes and said "hey"

  • They stared back at me with their head, grey eyes and said, ¨Greetings madam, would you like some tea?¨

  • Well, you know me - I always enjoy a spot of tea, so I decided to sit down with them. The beady-eyed group seemed pleased by my company. That is, until I accidentally spilled

  • my tea onto the floor. I don't know what provoked him, but one of them took offence. "That's so f'ing rude, man!" he barked. "You should be apologizing to the people sitting here!"

  • But I refused. This became known as the "Tea Incident", and is the reason I am no longer invited to parties. Who wrote the rules on tea etiquette anyway? I bet it was some sort of

  • Stuck up, filthy rich dad with daughters. Daughters with a huge tea addiction. Such a bad addiction to the drink that rules were needed. Who makes rules for tea?

  • Rules for Tea: 1) Elbows off the table. 2) Pinkies raised. 3) Carbonated and/or alcoholic beverages not allowed, unless concealed in teacup. 4) NO COFFEE! 5) Animals must wear

  • fancy clothes and big hats. 6) At least 3 old women who gossip. 7) Passive aggressive attacks on each other's promiscuity or lack of decorum concealed as a polite sounding joke.

  • 8) constant recommendations of the barber Sweenie Todd. 9) Fancy pearls and a sweet cup of tea. 10) nightly worship of the demon Ba'allzebub. 11) a visit from the grandkids.



  1. Toogs Dec 17 2019 @ 14:38

    Rule #9 for tea: have a cup of tea.

  2. revital Dec 17 2019 @ 15:10

    ^^^ ????

  3. LordVacuity Dec 17 2019 @ 15:48

    Sorry folks, these rules don't fit in with a cha-no-yu. brb, have to seppuku, I'm just saying.

  4. SlimWhitman Dec 18 2019 @ 15:18

    not clear what's a bigger trial, worship of Ba'alzebub, or visit of the four grandkids

  5. BlastedHeath Dec 21 2019 @ 22:47

    That went well.

  6. Gibber Dec 22 2019 @ 18:33

    This is another fold of mine actually written by a neural network. https://talktotransformer.com/

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