Looking around all he saw were turkeys. Six-foot

Looking around all he saw were turkeys. Six-foot tall, wild turkeys. He'd been cornered. Now, all he could do was

create a diversion, McGiver style, using olny his belt buckle and the book of matches he scoffed from the local 7-11.

left hand monkey wrench, he could get this bird off the ground and save Princess Peach. Short on time, he burped and

scratched an itch a normal man couldn't reach. Ever since he was a child, his double jointed shoulders allowed him to

pick up the ladies in a powerful way. He used all four limbs to climb onto the bar, and this usually impressed the

photographers. After a few more shots of Tequila, he was ready to move on and make his next move. Out the door he went

and ran smack into the woman of his dreams. She was 6' tall with legs that went on forever.

But there was something off about her. She was definitely missing

a few teeth, but no that wasn't it. I realized that we were doomed. It was totally a fake PRADA bag!!!