Looking around all he saw were turkeys. Six-foot

Looking around all he saw were turkeys. Six-foot tall, wild turkeys. He'd been cornered. Now, all he could do was

create a diversion, McGiver style, using olny his belt buckle and the book of matches he scoffed from the local 7-11.

He spit out the gum he had been chewing and used it to attach the matches to the belt. Now if only he had a

left hand monkey wrench, he could get this bird off the ground and save Princess Peach. Short on time, he burped and

scratched an itch a normal man couldn't reach. Ever since he was a child, his double jointed shoulders allowed him to

photographers. After a few more shots of Tequila, he was ready to move on and make his next move. Out the door he went

and ran smack into the woman of his dreams. She was 6' tall with legs that went on forever.

But there was something off about her. She was definitely missing

a few teeth, but no that wasn't it. I realized that we were doomed. It was totally a fake PRADA bag!!!