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You have been given the task of bringing

  • You have been given the task of bringing forth the apocalypse, and it can be done in 10 easy steps. Step 1 of 10 - Hack your local governments communications network.

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  • Operation Apocalypse Step 2 of 10 - Upload computer virus designed to randomly redistribute decimal points in all digital financial documents.

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  • Operation Apocalypse Step 3 of 10: Smear peanut butter on the hard copies as a safety in case the decimal point virus doesn't impact an already-failing economy. Or raspberry jam.

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  • Operation Apocalypse Step 4 of 10: Put peanut butter & jelly smeared CDs with world bank transaction data in a Waters-Genter Automatic Popup toaster causing a power drain at 3 mile

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  • Operation Apocalypse Step 5 of 10: Convince FoldingStory.com to allow folds greater than 180 characters so diabolical plots aren't automatically foiled, like in Step 4.

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  • Of course, then some jerk would just add random troll-y text to every fold, since that is what the cranks do. Something like lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

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  • *cough* ahem. So thank you everybody for coming to my open mike night, enjoy the nachos. And now for my next song, here it goes. mamamamamamamamamamamamamammamamamamamamamamamamama

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  • They call me Crazy LooooOOOOooop, gotta gotta be Crazy LoooooOOOOOooooop!

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  • Operation Apocalypse, Step 9 of 10; Derail the ovular loop of the Earth's orbit, this will cause the planet to be ejected out of the solar system into the darkness of space.

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  • Step 10 of 10. Start afresh with a new planet and a new future and hope that this time an intelligent life form will rise that will not descend into what Humanity made for itself.

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10 Comments

  1. jaw2ek Oct 21 2012 @ 11:24

    Nice coincidence that the original theme returned after a 3 fold hiatus.

  2. SlimWhitman Oct 21 2012 @ 11:27

    Yes, what a coincidence, synchronized with the first 5 steps too! We'll never know all the steps necessary for the apocalypse now... but maybe we'll manage it accidentally.

  3. jaw2ek Oct 21 2012 @ 11:32

    Does the apocalypse have to be quick? Maybe these 7 steps bring about a century of decline. Maybe that's what's supposed to happen.

  4. KieferSkunk Oct 21 2012 @ 18:41

    Oh man, if I'd been folding Chaz's line, I would have written: "just kikikikikilledededededed a maaamaaamaaamaaamaaa--" stupid CD was skipping again...

  5. Haunted Oct 22 2012 @ 15:27

    Heh, intentional excessive derailings are no fun for anyone.

  6. Haunted Oct 22 2012 @ 15:27

    Let's be happy that the universe sought to rerail this wondrous story

  7. Chaz Oct 22 2012 @ 15:38

    Highly unusual to match skipped folds. Part of the expectation is to have no knowlege other than the last fold when writing. Derailing is part of the game. It is fun to stick to a topic but not necessary.

  8. KieferSkunk Oct 22 2012 @ 16:01

    Hmm... FoldingStory seems to have eaten my reply. I said: I agree that it seems a little suspicious here. Haunted re-railed the story so perfectly as to suggest a duplicate account of someone who'd already folded earlier and knew which line to look for. (I assure you it wasn't me.) Still fun, tho.

  9. SlimWhitman Oct 22 2012 @ 16:29

    No need for duplicate accounts. If you peeked into at a story earlier on, you could keep the link and return to it later. One could imagine a function which only let you look at each story once, but I think that would be excessive too. Anyway, it happens very rarely. Far more fun is the completely unintended return to an earlier theme of a story. That happens surprisingly often and is known as "mental contagion" according to the surrealists. Fold to your oblivious pleasure. -Slim

  10. KieferSkunk Oct 22 2012 @ 16:32

    That is true. :) And I've been involved in at least a few folds that have had that happen, where my fold or one right after it would take us back to the theme we'd started with, and for my part I had no idea what that was. :)

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