The students were quiet with great delight

The students were quiet with great delight as the teacher

tried her best to get them to say something...anything. "The capitol of Utah is...Johnny?" Johnny sat stonefaced, silent. "Margot?" Margot turned her chair around. The teacher

Total silence. "Fine," muttered the teacher. There was more than 1 way to deal with truculent students. She reached under her desk and flipped the first switch. The scent of singed

nose hairs assaulted the singed nose hairs of the students. They puckered their faces. "Ow, how did you do that?" The teacher just laughed. "Naughty students deserve singed nose ha

ir sandwiches!" The students stared in disgust and disbelief. That might have been a little harsh, but it seemed to stun the rowdy children into silence for a few moments.

The lunchlady's grin grew, and more tombstone-like teeth exposed. "And that's not even the worst of it." She scooped a ladel of the greyish-green goop, putting the sandwich down,

& sneezed multiple hard showers of spittle into the pot. Her ladle slammed down on my plate, covering my apple in goo. "Are there any Saltines?" I whimpered. The lunchlady laughed

"And why, would you think we have saltines?" she asked.

"Because I ate all the cookies," said the dark booming voice which interrupted the conversation, "They were mine to begin with, and so are your souls. Now fork em' over."