Professor Bombo Ungerdunger's Inflatable

Professor Bombo Ungerdunger's Inflatable Fauna (Advanced Placement) was the toughest course at the Clown College.

on a bicycle" said Bombo. 'Drat' thought Barnabus. 'That's a toughie'. But his clown training paid off and Barnabus passed. "Bozos in Bolivia, here I come!" exclaimed Barnabus.

But Barnabus couldn't pretend to be excited about the circus anymore. He looked at Bombo and said, "I love you with all my heart, let's start over, together."

Barnabus held out both stumps while Bombo tried to discern his sincerity. "Please?" implored Barnabus. But just as Bombo decided to forgive him, Barnabus ripped off Bombo's hands &

devoured each of his fingers, even the nose-picking ones. Bombo screamed, blood spewing from what was left of his arms. "Now we both have stumps!" Barnabus said with a bloody mouth

, but I'm stumped as to how we got this way." Bombo stopped screaming and pretended to scratch his head with his non-existant fingers. "We stupid?" he asked Barnabus after a while.

The fingers were actually roots growing of a stump that looked like an arm. Both arms Bombo had were stumps and greenish in colour, like the leaves of real trees. Thunderous noises

boomed in Bombo's ears, and he realised he had his headphones plugged into a motorway. Unfortunately, Bombo's tree arms and tree fingers were no use, so he had to keep listening to

Talk radio for eternity. Thankfully Eternity wouldn't be long and the sound of "TIMBER!" came the sharp hacking of the ax. (Ah! Blissful slumber.)