This is a story about a band that changed

even though they'd always forget to take them out of the van. The band would laugh raucously every single time and then pass out on top of the instrument cases. Dick Clark

had had enough. First there was no French Vanilla creamer in the green room and now Gladys Night and the Pips were passed out on the dance floor. Dick Clark shouted to the Gods

of Disco to save them all, and they answered Dick Clark's prayer. In an ear-shattering explosion of blow and disco heels, the Gods of Disco came - Donna Summer, resplendent in

a red polyester sequined dress emerged onto the flashing dancefloor with what appeared to be a sodden cake...a cake that someone had left out in the rain. The BeeGees appeared too

late to save it. They said it was closer than close, but maybe that was just jive talkin'. Richard cried, "Oh nooo!" He simply couldn't take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it.

By the time it was done Richard was more baked than his hash browny. Cactus got all prickly when the timer rang and totally forgot his vow not to swear at Aunt Em's, yelling

Bloody murder if the garden was not watered by midnight. The water police had just arrived to answer Cactus's 922 call. Plants used 922 for emergency service per a 2015 law. There

were, of course, a few that were grandfathered though, like Cactus 922 because his number is also theirs. The Police Police were on the scene quicker than the water police who were

too busy playing with their rubber duckies to take notice. In the end Cactus 922 sued the water police and stuck his spines in their duckies. They cried chlorinated tears.