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After the accident, he was able to taste

  • After the accident, he was able to taste music. The Overture from the Flying Dutchman was lime jello. Motorhead's Ace of Spades, burnt grilled cheese.
  • His wife caught him tasting Vivaldi's Four Seasons. "Honey, the doctor said no fine wine," she implored. "Why not try Nickelback? It's substance-free and tastes like Pop Rocks."
  • And that's when he stuck his wife's face into the scalding hot bamboo steamer. "This is the last time you take all the covers at night." She grabbed the pasta scoop and
  • slotted his 100% all beef thermometer. "I'm not taking any beef from a man with limp linguine for a weeny". That was the last straw for Thin Jim.
  • "I do not have a limp linguine for a weeny!" Thin Jim screamed. He snapped the beef thermometer in half and threw it away. "I'll show you what happens when you mess with me
  • " Thin Jim tore off his trousers and out spilled a river of fettuccine, parpadelle, gnocchi, bigoli, scialatelli, mezzelune, fregula, conchigliette and stringozzi. Gasps
  • filled the room until a cry of "Look at the size of those meatballs!" caused a near riot of hungry Italian debutantes to swarm upon poor trouserless Thin Jim. One bonny young lass
  • in particular caught Thin Jim's eye. She, unlike the others, had no interest in his meatballs nor his Italian balogna for that matter. She wanted him for an entirely different reas
  • on. It puzzled him, indeed, for each fair girl before had fallen under his "spell". It intrigued him, but she stayed mum- no descent vampire would admit... and neither would she.
  • And so Alucard built up his harem of hypnotized slaves, and lived a glorious life of sex... until the hypnotism wore off and his former whores tore him limb from limb.
Started
2011-10-17 16:15:05
Finished
2014-02-04 12:10:20

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    lucielucie Feb 04 2014 @ 15:08

    Ha! I saw what you did there DM! :) Also - I spent probably the most time I've ever spent on a fold on the one above. What with looking up types of pasta & trying to spell them OK & getting autocorrect to butt out...
  2. Avatar

    PurpleProf Feb 04 2014 @ 15:20

    ...and much appreciated LL...:)
  3. Avatar

    lucielucie Feb 05 2014 @ 13:40

    For you, anything, PP.
  4. Avatar

    49erFaithful Feb 05 2014 @ 15:51

    It's impossible to read LL's fold without an Italian accent. The first few pastas maybe, but once you get to bigoli, it just can't be done. Which is excellent. And brings to mind the character Otto from A Fish Called Wanda who uses Italian to turn Wanda on. Also excellent. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3DX9Ho83QI
  5. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Feb 05 2014 @ 18:24

    Doesn't she really get hot for Russian? Borscht anyone?

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