He adjusted his jeweler's loupe and peered

He adjusted his jeweler's loupe and peered down at the marble cutting board. With a deft flick of his x-acto knife he proceeded to split atoms.

Now for the delicate bit, he thought as he teased apart the nucleus with his trusty subatomic tweazers. 150 million atoms for 16 Higgs particles! But Peter's a good chap. He deser

ves nothing! The french chef leveled his amazing biscotti at Peter and emphasized, "Nothing!"

Peter caught the biscotti mid-air. He could've been a catcher for the LA Dodgers, but no, he became a pastry chef for one of the most popular French restaurants in the city.

The "Faire l’andouille" was renown for its amazing pastry and baseball chefs. Peter, being the head chef of the restaurant chucked and caught the orders of the customers. "Strike!

And they did. The baseball themed restaurant suffered great losses each time the employees went on strike. They were too stupid to know what the word meant in baseball. Peter

dreaded what the baseball restaurant employees would do if he yelled "Ball!" So he kept his mouth shut. "You're supposed to be the referee, make some calls!" snarled the manager.

Three years later Smarty-pants was the big boss at the sweet factory. He ran a forklift and was well respected. His son was a designer of widgets. His degree in business was a

plastic 3Dprintout. His pants, although still smart, were losing their edge. The brass buttons had fallen off and the knees were wearing thin. He always had hard candy in a pocket.