Today we are entering in the third round

Today we are entering in the third round of the SIAC basketball tournament. I will not be playing due to my neck injury last week. I have been starting since the

2nd grade and if it hadn't been for that visit from a vampire, I'd still be a starter. But my coach was afraid that if someone got injured during the game and there was blood, I

would take one of the stacking cups and hold it under the wound. My cup stacking coach thought I had to drink ALL the blood I saw, as if people eat ALL the food they see (they do).

Just as my cannibal coach thought I had to eat ALL the people I saw (she was not human) irrespective of whether or not they had recently bathed. But then my lamaze coach thought

outside the box and said to my life coach, "What I think we need here is an intervention." I dropped my coach bag at the thought. My comedy coach paused the episode of "Coach"

My coach had just morphed into an octopus with painted fingernails. Then the nail polish peeled off, leaving tentacles. The college students were back with a vengeance. Purple was

purple , but finger nails became tentacles, then tentacles became porn, and then coach got arrested. It seems the Principal, Miss Tuftee had principles and one of them was that

when you gird yourself to drain the swamp you can't go wrong with new lingerie. As in our new line of Hawaiian Shells pooka wear and panties. Or perhaps the French Polyhedron is

the only cup shape that are gonna hoist up those man-boobs, Mr. President, sir. That would make a nice topper for your I-Can't-Believe -It's-a-Presidency Girdle. Suits you to a T.