Hey, I just met you, and you're driving me

Hey, I just met you, and you're driving me crazy! So I'll call cops, if you don't away from me-e!

"Better yet, I'm calling ADT tonight and having an ad-blocking forcefield installed. Consider your boxes of cookies X-ed out, little girl." Heh, we scouts have technology too. My

daughter is a member of the Evil Witch Girl Scouts. I hate going with her door-to-door selling Sinister Cookies. Disturbing. But I hate helping her with her demerit badges.

In fact, the only thing that I don't hate about the Evil Witch Girl Scouts is that every once in a while, I get to ride as a passenger on one of their evil flying brooms. The first

Time I ever did was exhilarating. Their brooms are incredibly fast, and they hold a magic in you that prevents you from being thrown off. In fact, this one time

, while on a Nimbus 2015, we reached 14,999 metres per second, 1 mps away from Hogwart's expulsion speed!

Perronicus was an experienced pilot and needed no GPS. He almost got a job at Platypus Airlines, but he preferred Hogwart's own universe with its 359 planets and 2,474 fixed stars.

'course Hogwart's doesn't have separate planets. Even a muggle knows that, but Perronicus couldn't tell his fantastical utterances apart from reality since he had severe folditis.

Persnickety Mellon-Jones was able to cure him of his folditis by making him fold ten stories in rapid succession. That fixed his little red wagon, Sunny Jim. Ten-fold!