As I descended into anesthesia, the surgeon
- As I descended into anesthesia, the surgeon asked, "Paper or plastic?" "Paper," I dreamily replied. My rhinoplasty was performed without a hiccup, but I awoke to a paper nose and
- a mortal fear that my lovely origami olfactory organ would burst into flames when I lit a cigarette. Despite the real danger I couldn't stop smoking.
- There I was, newly appointed to be Tzaddik 29, and I was about to set my own nose on fire with compulsive smoking. And not in a holy flame, either. But my origami nose somehow
- folded into a goose and took flight. I took me higher and higher, until I joined a flock of geese, it seemed as though we were headed
- for greatness, It would seem, however, that I chose the worst time to become a goose as it was hunting season. As our 'V' swooped low one day shortly after, a stream of buckshot
- fired into my new friends. A few of them fell to the ground including the alpha goose, the goose that laid the golden egg, and my mate for life. I decided to transform my body into
- a Black Swan. Almost instantly I was more mysterious and attractive. My honking remained though. All the cobs and pens gathered around me, and even a few ganders and hens
- . It was Ryan Gosling I was most attracted to, however. Dating him would be a feather in my cap. I saw him preening as I pirouetted past, honking a mating call like none other.
- Ryan looked at me coquettishly. I'd pulled! We danced arm in arm, to a rather pretty waltz played by a man with an accordion. We kissed to the light of the moon, but unfortunately
- Russell Crow, attracted by my honking, elbowed Ryan out of the way. "My name is Maximus Nortius, son of Incontinentia Buttocks & I claim you as my own!" I swooned into his arms.
- Started
- 2011-12-06 07:01:17
- Finished
- 2013-05-28 15:54:04
2 Comments
Want to leave a comment?
Sign up!
PurpleProf May 28 2013 @ 21:23
SO funny!!!! :)
sundancer May 28 2013 @ 22:01
OMG LOL the last three folds to this story are freaking hilarious!!! I love it!!! :-)