The Capitol Records boardroom was quiet.

The Capitol Records boardroom was quiet. The assistant to the music exec said, my idea is a group called, "Def-tones-Loc." It's part 80's rock, Hip-Hop and

locksmith. Instead of hair bands, they would start a craze of bands wearing overalls. Spectacular!

they might, no worthy trianglists responded to their "Bandmates Wanted" ad. They waited expectantly by the phone. They would even settle for a kazooist. Just then, in walked

Zamfir master of the panflute who swept them away to a world of haunting, tranquil beauty. He lulled them into a trance & marched out of the studio onto the street & they followed

him all the way home where they took turns kicking his dick. One of them smashed his pan flute to bits. "Don't assault our ears again, or else

It will be your dick that gets smashed" Amy watched them walk away laughing to herself, patting the cucumber she stuffed in her crotch. If only they knew her secret. She was a girl

. Yes, a girl with a cucumber down her trousers, 2 cantaloupe melons in her bra and half oranges strapped to her knees. Amy bamboozled her friends & confounded her enemies. Fruit

was her secret weapon. "Nice melons. Are those organic?" Bob said sweetly. He had a huge crush on her. "Thanks & yes they are. But I still cantaloup with you. Sorry," said Amy.

"I'm in an oranged marriage, but I'll always cherries our time together." "Kumquats!" exclaimed Bob, unaware that his romantic endeavors had been foiled by lines from Blackadder.