As I scavanged through my list of 256 facebook

As I scavanged through my list of 256 facebook 'friends' to find a single, hot girl, I came across someone I didn't expect to find in facebook, my

Id, who had apparently opened a fb account and started relationships with every girl I knew. And he was following virtually every female on twitter, including my mom, Jocasta.

I had to shake this creep from my mom. Jonathan Edwards didn't shake easily though, he'd developed a

obsession with brunch buffets. Edwards was always searching for eggs florentine and mimosas. Kind of a picky obsession, no? Jonathan Edwards became surly

aste of motor oil. Goddammit. That bitch ruined his order for the last time. He leapt past the counter & slammed her face onto the grill. She screamed & sizzled, indelibly marred

by the innocuous Italian sausage that lay there. From that moment on and for the rest of her life, people she'd meet would look at that scar and wonder, for the scar resembled a

lake in which was an island in which was another lake...and on and on...a recursion of Hasselhoffian dimensions. When I was fully hypnotized by the scar, she struck my head with a

magic wand & ZAP! I found myself in the French Quarter selling Lucky Dogs! Best job I ever had & no one seemed to notice my scar.I spotted her hanging over a balcony on Bourbon St

She looked at me with those brown eyes. "You sell me one of those Dawgs and I will show you some real magic." I was swept up by the Voodoo Mambo of New Orleans. Très bon.