This insane virtual reality technology has

This insane virtual reality technology has all five of my senses totally convinced that my daughter will be returned to me unharmed

I could have been so wrong. They held a funeral for what little was left of her, but I'd already said my goodbyes. And I had doubts. I wanted answers, and I knew where to get them:

Wikipedia. Her murder was a case I just could not solve, so I sat in my chair and looked for clues on the trusty web page that everyone loves. However, I could not find the

information I was looking for. Someone had edited the entire page so it only had John Cena memes. "Note to self; you can't solve murder mysteries on Wikipedia," I wrote on paper.

Or was it a clue? Was John Cena involved with this murder somehow and Wikipedia was trying to tell me? Nonsense! "2nd note to self; Wikipedia is not AI. It takes actual people to

solve a murder case." But I knew. The stashes of fascist memorabilia, the private jet, the table, the home on the Cayman Islands? This was the work of one man, and his name is

Igor Niehaus. A tax-evading, Hitler-loving, Aryan piece of shit. I had followed his trail to Southern Argentina, but I had lost him somewhere West of

Rio Mendoza. Fittingly my last trace of Niehaus was a trail of mule droppings leading into the arid mesas of Punta de Vacas. I pride my self as a first rate Nazi hunter, but I draw

My big salary from being a money junkie. There is a lot of dough to be made on Wall Street when the Nazis are all captured. I would like to become an ape-man and live in the trees.