The countryside hadn't changed much, but

The countryside hadn't changed much, but the road had. I just didn't remember the

animals behaving so bizarrely. In one paddock I noticed to horses trying to run at each other and in another a cow appeared to be attempting to climb a tree. A flock of sheep on

liquid g was an unusual sight too. Screw this, I'm making a milkshake, she decided. She came back out to check on the sheep and discovered all the boys in her yard and yelled "

Milkshakes for everyone!" The startled boys looked up and then began cheering loudly, their nakedness momentarily forgotten. With outstretched arms, she welcomed the boys

into her coven of deceitful witches. "Now, my pretties, it is time for you to taste my wrath" she cooed. One by one, she picked up the boys and threw them into

the cauldron. She was going to make a 'Boy potion' as she called it, and sell it to all those trans-genders to make a few bucks. All the witch needed to complete the potion was

the eye of Newt Gingrich. So the witch sent Newt an email: "Please send me one of your eyes. I need it for my Boy Potion. I'm sure you can spare just one. A small one will do."

Newt Gingrich responded with his own email: "Never! No eye for you! And Taxation is NOT theft - it is just simple extortion after all...

He wrote in his ghostwritten autobiography that he learned it from his grandfather, Gnu the Snakeoil vsalesman. Sadly, he was correct.

After all of this time it is sad to think that to them at the time all of that was of the utmost importance. Meanwhile the planet was falling apart all around them.