The interviewer for the position asked me,

The interviewer for the position asked me, "What do you see yourself doing five years from now?" I feigned reflection and said with enthusiasm, "Freezing to death on the streets of

Philadelphia" He was not unsettled one bit and kept on as an automat he asked me "How do you think you can better our company?" Now I was surprised. I finally thought and replied:

"Why try to improve a company that is already perfect?". Despite his robot appearance, he was impressed. I got the job and started work directly in the Philadelphia office, where I

...I served coffee to the management and did errands that most of those damn people could have done themselves. Fun, right?

NO IT WASN"T FUN! Why do you always agree with my rhetorical questions? I'm just trying to communicate & you have to ridicule my inability to refrain from a formal & elegant manner

! NO *YOU* SHUDDUP! (waa was waawaa waa) YES I LOCKED THE FREAKIN DOOR! (waa?) YES I'M SURE, DAMMIT! muttermuttermuttermutter... (waawaa waawaa waa)

Charlie Brown's teacher would not relent. Her muffled horn voice permeated his consciousness. Violent visions gripped him, as if implanted by an external force, willing him to

kick the ball during recess. He knew what would happen before it did but could not stop himself. Just before his foot made contact with the ball, Lucy pulled it away. She was

expecting the poor guy to fall on his head like usual. Much to Lucy's surprise, he did a complete backflip! "Where did you lear how to do that!" She exclaimed. "Well,