My life is basically like Boogie Nights meets

My life is basically like Boogie Nights meets Blow. Throw in some Scarface and a dash of Mrs. Doubtfire and you'd have it nailed. Most people call me Ricky, but you can call me Bob

or Billy Bob or Billy Bob Thornton. That's right, the one and only. You are asking yourself, "why is his life like these cocaine-themed films -- and why is his nickname 'Ricky'?"

The answers are "because" & "because". If you have any more stupid questions you will find me in my study defleaing the dog." I dropped my pamphlet concerning Ricky Cocaine on the

bonfire, watching it roast. Who the hell would want to read about "Ricky Cocaine"? And come to think of it, why is there a bonfire here? Shrugging, I wandered away from the study,

A flyer with information about some sort of Methodist church. The frantic shouts of "Ricky Cocaine!" still echoed in the air around us. And still the man looked at me as if I were

Billy Gilman, a man who photographs himself on the tailgates of pick-up trucks everywhere. So, I looked at the man square in the belly and said, "You! You need a lot of

Guts to get on the tailgate of my truck. It has magic powers!" Nonetheless, Billy Gilman agreed to have coffee at Starbucks and think about black magick and its risks. He did white

lines to accentuate the caffeine in an attempt to build up his resolve, but all it did was give him the shakes. Billy was found on the bathroom floor at Starbucks and taken to

the local fart exhibition. With a three rolls of duct tape, and a few plates of beans we shaped Billy and his groovy shakes into fine art. Billy won first prize and we