Skaggs had a nasty way of snapping the spine

Skaggs had a nasty way of snapping the spine out of his pickled mackerel before consuming it that made Tom uneasy so he hid in an apple barrel in the Galley when Skaggs & Hook ente

-red the pickled mackerel eating contest. When Skaggs went down to make the apple ring garnishes, he found a bloated Tom. "Urrrgh, I eat when I'm uneasy," Tom said. Spine-snapping

nurses would turn Tom around. "Would you wike a widdle snacky, Tommy?" Nurse Krackit would tease while waving smoked salmon before him; when he reached, she struck him upside the

the inner thigh and then pinched the soft meat behind his elbow. Tom screamed and screamed and screamed some more. Nurse Krackit smiled cruelly and asked him if he would like

a leather strap to bite on prior to her taking his blood pressure. Tom decided to get out of Dodge- now. He thrust his food tray onto nurse's face, ruing the wasted fillet mignon,

and pissing her off further. But before she could stab him with her morphine-filled syringe, he bolted out the door & ran buck-nekkid down the corridor. He spotted an elevator!

The horrified passerby's reactions made him want to dissappear. Jabbing the button with his thumb over and over did nothing to distract the Police from his obvious state of nudity.

"The Emperor has no clothes, and no WiFi," said an innocent little child, who had been watching the whole thing. "Shut your foul mouth," said the police, and arrested the kid for

One afternoon, the High Priest brought the Emperor the daily news and to do sacrificial rituals per usual, only to find the Emperor playing the piano. "Don't record me, I'm drunk"