The gingerbread men sat on the plate wondering

The gingerbread men sat on the plate wondering who would be next. Trevor's death had been particularly gruesome. Little nibbles to the hands and feet until all that was left was

torso with gum drop buttons melting down with some kind of acidic toxin. Another hand clutched over the edge of the pan from somewhere beneath. The gingerbread legion edged away

from the food case. They wanted to put an end to Starbucks' "pumpkin spice" scone once and for all. They wanted to kills the scones. They wanted to keep the purity of Autumn by

petitioning them, instead, to use ground autumn leaves as a flavoring agent. Despite initial resistance, the

agency agreed, and began using the new formula. The marketing department did random taste tests and it appeared that the transition was going smoothly, until members of green

peace arrived and claimed that the whole process was littered with emissions. So they decided to crreate a new formula by

manipulating the genes of squirrels, red squirrels to be specific, which would absorb and transform the emissions. The squirrel pooped on my desk and left .

I looked at the spur it left behind, a humusy smear of accorn shell, and realized that the red squirrel had left a message for me to decipher. It was a bit like reading tea leaves

which is the primary point of our lecture today. Remain erect and intensely alert at all times. Keep constant head motion. Keep your tail fluffy and above all, protect your nuts.