Come gather round people, wherever you roam.

Come gather round people, wherever you roam.

For it is difficult work we are about to embark upon, and let us not forget those brave men before us who died picking Washington's boogers on the slippery slopes of Mt. Rushmore

for they protect the dignity of those great presidents. Once a swarm of bats built a huge guano goober In Lincolns left nostril & Wlibur Farks, God rest his soul, was hanging unde

rneath. Wilbur grasped the big booger to his chest and used his body weight to pull it out. As he plunged to his death he yelled "It was worth it!" Another time, the Rushmore Guard

in charge of president head-cleaning fell off of the Rushmore landmark after nostril-dusting too thoroughly. Det. Manatee was on the scene. "We've got another one. Death by booger.

Det. Manatee didn't think these 2 Death by Booger cases were random: first the Crazy Horse monument & now Mt. Rushmore. Why were park employees being killed while cleaning noses?

Slamming his appendage down onto the desk, Det. Manatee cursed under his voluminous whiskers. He would have to set up a sting operation at the next logical target: the Lincoln Memo

-rial. Manatee had no problem swimming up the Potomac River to the memorial, but it took him a good two hours to slink across the roadways to the reflecting pool. He waited in the

shadow of the Washington Monument. As the time passed him by the shadow grew smaller and smaller until there was no more shadow to remind him what and when he was. So we forgot.