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OUCH! Except he didn't really say "ouch".

  • OUCH! Except he didn't really say "ouch". Thomas cursed under his breath and lifted his foot to his teeth to rip off the remainder of his pinky nail. Who put

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  • SUPERGLUE in his SHOES?! It happens like every week, but he can never find out exactly who keeps torturing him.

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  • But actually the SUPERGLUE in his SHOES ended up saving his life, because he was wearing CROCS with SUCTION PADS when the tsunami came.

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  • He would survive. The water rushed in from all sides of his fifth floor hotel room. The tsunami was cresting in 30 seconds. Only one thing to do. SELFIE!

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  • Bruce Gilden, renowned critic, squinted at the TG-4 photo. Cascades of water frozen midair framed a grinning lunatic. "OMG. Finally someone who understood composition- & he's dead!

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  • Guess he dabbles in DEcomposition now," Bruce Gilden quipped. "Being dead, that's thirty demerits, but at least the price goes up. We should all kill artists and get rich."

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  • "Yeah, but that would mean buying all their crappy art, first," said Zetawilk, who had been standing close by, in the shadows, "and my delicate sensibilities will not permit me to

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  • flaunt the foibles of bad marketing, let alone buying what you so loosely called crappy art. That is a disservice to crap." Woab looked at him blankly. She didn't know Zetawalk was

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  • so passionate about crap getting it's due. Which, of course, is not what Zetawalk's rant had been about. But Woab had been distracted by all the shiny buttons on Zetawalk's jacket.

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  • So Woab took out his scissors and neatly snipped off each of the shiny buttons, put them into his pocket and walked free. It was his life, and his buttons now.

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