The white blob of Ceres really just wanted

The white blob of Ceres really just wanted to be left alone after all it had been through and thought it had found a safe haven, but NO -- now even the dimwits of Earth were

putting up resorts left and right and importing beaches and "authentic" boys for their cabanas. There was room for all & more in the swiss cheese interior of Ceres. Damn Old Earth!

The stunning crystalline inclusions in the caverns of Ceres rapidly turned into a chinzy exploitive tourist trap. Space ship loads of tourists came thorough. Then the horta awoke

with dry mouth and a pounding headsache. SHE belched fire and ice through the Cerevic caverns, cleansing the cancerous pockets of intruders. Satisfied, the horta emerged into clear

water. I trailed a line of goo that reminded me of a snail. I knew it was deadly but I couldn't bring myself to kill the last one. So I scaled the wall the horta right behind me. I

let out a terrific bean blast that propelled me over the last inch of wall and just out of reach of the horta's grasp. I was free! My snail-killing shift was at an end! To the dog

-goned heart of Hades with the lot of them! I was gonna march right up to the boss' office and tell him where to stuff it. But, he was out playing golf, so I went to Taco Bell for

a Royale with cheese. The cashier reminded me I was not at a McDonald's in Paris but in a Taco Bell in Hell and did I want that animal style. That stumped me. Did I come across as

a hipster doofus that doesn't recognize when he's in Hell? Because he wasn't like that at all. He wasn't sure if he was getting a Royale with cheese animal style or Taco Bell shit.

Either way, this was Hell. Hell with terrible food.