Mom: "I always knew you were a bad seed.

Mom: "I always knew you were a bad seed. Look atcha now, a full-grown shitbush!" Me: "MmmHmm." Mom: "If you weren't so rotten on the inside, maybe you wouldn't be so ugly." I fired

homing torpedoes at mom's tuna casserole as she let fly insults and musket fire. Writing fan fiction for my life was just the spice it needed. But would anyone read of my exploits?

The magic 8 ball said, "Don't count on it." Stupid thing. It's not even real. It's no oracle. People will read my fan fiction. All I need is a gimmick. Guerilla marketing. Like may

from Pokemon! No one's seen her in a while, but she'll make a fine character to gain reviews for my story! Of course, once I saw the proliferation of May fanfiction stories,

I banged my head on the table. In all the Pokemon fandom, it irks me that people typically overlook the titular creatures in favor of the generic Japanime characters. To live side-

But will I? I prefer to travel in wonderland and leave there forever and ever, eating EAT ME, drinking DRINK M, getting tall and short, and tall again. How nice would it be to

instead be skipping down the yellow brick road with Scarecrow. Somehow, though, I got lost in the wrong book. I'm stuck here with f*ckin' Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum. Will somebody

please start this story over again & this time get it right? That's it. Close this one out. Start fresh........... Once upon a time, in a land far, far away...

the fish rose for the first time on land. Its gills pumped out the squelchy mud and breathed the humid air. Soon... generations later, it would learn to write.