I looked up at the stars and sighed. It's

  • I looked up at the stars and sighed. It's nothing but a memory now and I should stop dwelling on the past.

  • Four years ago on this day I was standing in the same spot, thinking the exact same thing as I am now.

  • And then i went with my friends to a pizza place and decided to eat some so that i can get fat

  • Sure it was a goal most people wouldn't be able to achieve. But I knew with diligent consumption of meat lover's stuffed crust, I would reach my glorious reckoning, being fat.

  • With properly diligent consumption, I was unable to leave my bed within just a few months. It was beautiful, I had enough fat on my body to hide full grown cats in my folds.

  • Everyone thought I was crazy and disgusting but I knew in my heart of hearts that becoming an obese corpulent sedentary mass was my calling. The only real

  • backfire was monetary insulation. I could have all the fables and digital fiction to impress my mind for an entire lifespan, but corporate drudgery was our waking Hell. My only

  • solace was to joke around and play grab ass in the supply room. Soon all I did was hang there. I sharpened my jokes. Put a table by the toner. Opened an "Improv" in the supply

  • stood up straight, with my voice strong, I uttered the meaning of life: "Rock aint about assssss"

  • Butt the crowd sang back "The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin' That's what I said The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand Or so I have read" & left me behind.



  1. SlimWhitman Oct 06 2011 @ 04:00

    for once I'm happy about my typo.

  2. Chaz Oct 06 2011 @ 04:13

    "But this one goes up to 11..."

  3. SlimWhitman Oct 06 2011 @ 08:26

    Surely there are other references to "This is Spinal Tap" on FA besides these: http://foldingstory.com/eifxy/i68vw7/ http://foldingstory.com/ku270/wp3ahh/

  4. Chaz Oct 06 2011 @ 09:46

    Thanks for pointing these out. Wouldn't it be nice if FoldingStory had a search feature. We could compile the Det. Manitee Epic! :)

  5. 49erFaithful Oct 06 2011 @ 12:16

    Aw, Slim, I totally had you pegged for nailing the double entrendre of "butt". Credit, nonetheless. Chaz, I've thought many times that a search feature would rock. Both for existing and finished folks, it could be a useful and fun tool. Not at all sure how hard that'd be to implement but doesn't hurt to ask! Maybe someone already has. I've corresponded with the FS founders via the 'contact us' link and they've always been very responsive so I'll check it out.

  6. SlimWhitman Oct 06 2011 @ 14:21

    Yeah, it would be nice if I'd thought of it, butt I have to be honest. Pleased none-the-less with the result. The search feature is definitely at the top of the wish-list. I can imagine it would require quite some work. I think it would be nice to, for example, search first lines or last lines or rank them by likes. Right now I use two methods (1) google-search: include FoldingStory and FA login names along with choice keywords like manatee. But google doesn't seem to index everything or my search terms are not ideal because this only finds a fraction of existing folds. (2) expand finished folds or open folds repeatedly until many or all folds are shown. Then use the browsers search function. This is laborious and incomplete (only one FA user and either open or finished folds).

  7. 49erFaithful Oct 06 2011 @ 15:57

    I emailed info@foldingstory.com with an inquiry into the situation and directed them to this story's comments as well. My guess is they've considered it and there's technicalities that make this difficult/unfeasible but we'll see! Thanks for the methods summary Slim. I've never gone so far as to actually try other methods of searching as you've described. But I'll check it out!

  8. Chaz Oct 06 2011 @ 18:49

    Would the search be limited to just finished folds? It might be cheating if I wanted to finish a fold about my searched topic. Like I wanted to only write to folds related to George Washington or cats.

  9. SlimWhitman Oct 06 2011 @ 19:07

    Yes, it does seem to be like 'cheating' since you can't do this on paper. But then on paper you don't have 1000s of active folds at once either. Everyone who's logged in should be able to search finished folds. I should be able to search my own unfinished folds.

  10. Zetawilk Oct 06 2011 @ 20:37

    FA? Surely you mean FS. Though both are fun for your purposes, sailor man. Me love you wrong time.

  11. SlimWhitman Oct 07 2011 @ 04:45

    Sorry, I meant FS. Usually I only login to Folders Anonymous once a month to confess my sins...

  12. Zetawilk Oct 07 2011 @ 05:10

    Oh, I didn't realize the letters stood for anything.

  13. noah Oct 07 2011 @ 07:57

    Thanks for the great ideas guys, we're looking into implementing a search function sometime in the future. There are a few questions about the best way to do it, so it's helpful to see this feedback. Keep folding,

  14. Chaz Oct 07 2011 @ 13:19

    Ever since the flood, Noah has been sailing a tight ship. :)

  15. Zetawilk Oct 07 2011 @ 14:16

    Tight ships sink lips. Thigh slips link sips.

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