If I told you once, I told you a thousand

If I told you once, I told you a thousand times...don't pick your nose! Cramer bent his head in shame, knowing she'd have to tell him a thousand and one times. An anger boiled up

from inside Cramer's nose and used it's ancient dark magic to seal his mom's nostrils shut. "My God! What's happening?!" she screamed. "Don't pick *your* nose." said the gremlin.

The gremlin was wise, he was the second cousin of Yoda, who was also of gremlin descent. They'd had trained together in the ways of

corporate tax avoidance in Trinidad (& Tobago). Yoda was now dead, but his gremlin cousin often seanced with him when a particularly tricky accounting scheme was required. In time,

all on the secret Jedi Enclave on Earth was eliminated. Some were hunted down by imperial inquisitors, but most fell prey to famine, substance abuse, or disease. Yoda's death was

different. He was wandering the swamps on Dagobah in search of food one night, when a dragon-snake suddenly surfaced and swallowed poor Yoda in a violent flurry of green and gray.

Ewoks watched the scene and called Dr. Ewok. Dr. Ewok came in a few minutes, took out his stethoscope and checked Yoda's pulse after he was rescued. The fans of Yoda wept.

It was a sad day indeed. Later that day, Yoda was found dead in his living quarters. Well, not found. Luke Skywalker (eye witness) said, "He sorta just...poofed, ya know?".

The intergalactic police weren't surprised- great Jedi had a nasty tendency to drop dead when they were needed. All the same, that 'Luke Skywalker' seemed pretty suspicious. Why