Cam had scratched that itch before and was

Cam had scratched that itch before and was forlorn that he couldn't help but go back again and again.

His sessions with "Doctor Why" were no help. His motivations remained unclear. All he knew was the compulsion, unending and unyielding. Cam stared at the

the golden Keytar. Vibrations chattered along his bones. Millions of angel voices exploded like a sun. And he grabbed the Keytar, slung across his shoulders and rubbed it, a genie

emerged from the keytar surrounded by an intimidating cloud of smoke, thunder and sparks. "You dare disturb my slumber??" Rumbled the imposing genie. He reached down and...

scratched himself most unpleasantly. I surmised there wasn't much need for tact when you're a keytar genie. I looked him square in the genie eye and said

– Open Sesame! And with those words, both Kool *and* the gang showed up and jammed out like there was no tomorrow. The funk levels were unmeasurable, and the entire place

began to change to a color palette reminiscent of a black light. The whites became purple, the greens became neon, and would've raged on if it weren't suddenly knocked off course

towards a black hole in the sky which so pretty i took the time before our deaths to paint a picture of it, waste of time? i think not, it saved my life

I went to bed, woke up the next morning, and sat on the toilet. It was symbolic of the crappy life I had led up to this point, and of the crappy life I would lead from now on.