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Hey - listen up Parents of the World. Just

  • Hey - listen up Parents of the World. Just cuz I'm a lil kid doesn't mean I don't have stuff to say. Next time you guys "stay together" for us kids, do us favor, huh, and DON'T.

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  • Living with one happy parent beats living with two miserable ones any day, so stop using us kids as an excuse. I may be small, but I know the score. I will not bear your silly game

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  • of musical chairs any longer. Seriously, how old do you think I am, Dad? I'm SEVEN! I'm way beyond musical chairs. Everyone knows that musical chairs is out and octopus tag is in.

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  • But my Dad will never understand. Even when I asked him to player Laser Octopus Tag with me once, he was clueless on how to play. He kept forgetting to

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  • defend himself with his deflector shield. The third time I tagged Dad with my laser it took his arm off. That's when Mom took the toys away and I was tried as an adult at age 5.

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  • 30 years passed; my parents have NEVER been to visit me once. My sister was just 1 when I was jailed, and as I walked through the gates I was wondering if I should find her.

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  • Since I hadn’t listed anybody to pick me up the prison paid something called Uber to take me to the bus station with a voucher for a one way ticket. My sister picked me up instead.

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  • I stood in the fresh air, slowly taking it in, enjoying my freedom. And then my sister arrived. She remarked, "

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  • your freedom is over your my slave once more. Say bye to it and say hello Hell." Which at first he thought

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  • was weird, given the fact all of the above happened in the elevator between the 3rd & 28th floors. The doors slid open, they rearranged themselves & returned to their cubicles.

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