My first crimes twenty-one years ago were

My first crimes twenty-one years ago were the beginning of my quest for elegance in larceny, but I didn’t know it at the time. I didn’t really hate old Mrs. O’Malley as much as I

hated her husband. Frankly I didn't care much for either one of them, but managed to stay professional. Afterall, my crimes were not personal. I approached each

of the knitted "god's eyes" and cursed them silently. They were a hippie couple and i hated their hypocrite gold brickin' asses. I turned around and said, "Heeey, far out

dudes. Toke me this: Have you ever really looked at your hands?" While they were distracted, I reached into their closet and removed

a tall kitchen bag of Buds, I left the leaves for them and split. Ha! Toker's are fools! As I walked away a voice behind me said "Drop the bag, Hands up!" ...I turned. Damn. Fooled

by the DEA. They weren't tokers at all, they were feds, going through an elaborate sting operation to catch casual users. I felt the handcuffs go on as the led me outside to the

squad car. I moped as the Feds stopped at Six Flags Waterpark over Quassy. I watched them play carnival games & eat fun food. I was left handcuffed in their backseat as they rode

I had skipped my meds again and was on the mental roller coaster. I screamed with delight as I plummeted from the summit "no hands!"

Sadly this was a big mistake. I woke up in the hospital. My doctor was mad and slapped me across the face. I did bad.