"the worst thing about the pizza so far was

"the worst thing about the pizza so far was the burned toppings", he thought as he paced the supermarkets isles absentmindedly chewing. I wish i had a poloroid camera to catalog

the pink elephants roaming the frozen food section. Outside the weather had turned to snow and I got a sudden chill as I realized I was wearning my pajamas. Sarah turned to me and

for a smoke on my Black & Mild. Stupid crows. Who are they to give advice on drinking anyway. I'm Dumbo, the goddamned flying elephant. Lay off the moonshine? I could quit anytime

*hic* I damn well please *hiccup*. Dumbo's middle-aged beer belly jiggled as he stumbled to a leaning rest against a shady oak. Besides *hic* those crows aint done bout seen nothin

that don't look like no elephant *hic* trunk. Dumbo rubbed his aching middle-aged back and *hiccup* let out a nauseous groan. Them crows was gone fo' the moment, *hurc* huzzah, but

It was, his name was durwin. Dumbo was being replaced with a younger, better trained elephant. He knew this day would come, he was an lazy alcoholic slob with freak ears. He sobbed

into his bucket of gin and blew peanuts across the room. "It's a hard knock life!" ,he wailed plaintively. "Ain't dat the truths holmes." , Timothy the mouse answered.

Timothy the mouse then handed Dr. Evil a peanut. Dr. Evil whimpered, scooted further into a corner of the room, and gnawed on the peanut. "We be needin' a better plan," said Timo

That's when Timo The Middle Manager decided it was finally time to get that MBA he'd had his eye on.