A lady friend of mine recently told me one

A lady friend of mine recently told me one of those facts during lunch, that's just too much information at the wrong time..Apparently we eat about 5 spiders a month while we sleep

. She sipped Darjeeling. "But I don't worry about the spiders. That's why I keep a bird". She smiled and opened her mouth. A beak peeked out.

"Cool trick!" I exclaimed as a rose-breasted grosbeak hopped out. "But wait - there's more," she said. "Not only will it dispose of unwanted house guests, it sings beautifully."

The bird then proceeds to loudly belt out R&B music while flapping about, leaving its feathers everywhere. The woman covered her ears and grinned.

Through some mystical, magical means, Squawkers heard the bird's distress & flew to the rescue. Perched above all, he sang his special Beatles tune. "Blackbird singing in the dead

so wanted to impress her so that she would come to his nest, but the language barrier was a problem. "Could you ever love a non-French speaker like me?" Squawkers shouted as loudly

he could. Like shouting it would make her understand. She looked at Squawkers then. "Like you," she asked cruelly. She shrugged. "I hate to say that I usually do, dumb ass." She

almost felt guilty for being so vicious, but she knew that it had to be done. If she couldn't convince Squawkers that she hated him, couldn't get him to leave of his own accord,

then maybe she could get him to leave in HER own Accord, her Honda Accord, that is. She offered him her car keys, which he accepted. He drove off. She was car-less but free of him.