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"Damn! Those alien bastards are gonna pay

  • "Damn! Those alien bastards are gonna pay for shooting up my ride!"

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  • Nod for that alien and make a forced smile for the camera. They find the most feel that we care about them. Smile, smile.

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  • These aliens tourists will be the death of me. They always want to see "our leader." I like to put them in back of the U-haul and ship them to Area 51. They know their business.

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  • Their business, of course, is other people's business. Specifically the #2 kind. When doody calls, they'll be there.

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  • They deploy extra agents with pooperchutes to strategic locations, like Waffle House. "Someone ordered the bacon-wrapped steak omelet!" shrieked Commander Skidder. "We need 2-ply

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  • Paper towels!! And not the ones with the stupid butterflies and kittens on them!". Sadly, all that Target had in stock was 1-ply... What to do?? Better not come back empty handed

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  • thought the flesh covered robot. On its way to get the paper towel, it saw the automated price checker on the wall. It was so, beautiful. So perfect. Fleshbot fell in love with

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  • the price checker. He blushed red. No,it was the price checker's laser beam. The automatic price checker said "One Matel talking flesh covered robot. Nine dollars ninety nine cents

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  • , discounted to 25 cents due to its inability to retain an erection on Jewish holidays." Now he truly WAS blushing, and unable to get a woody since today was Yom Kippur.

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  • And all the good boys started taking Viagra to rectify their holiday issues and at the end of the day things were very stiff and happy.

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