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I sometimes wonder if I am eating a banana

  • I sometimes wonder if I am eating a banana too loudly. Or maybe I’m swallowing water wrongly. Behavior that is far from the norm. Then I remember the norm is what none of us is.

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  • A hand in the back row went up tentatively. "Yes," said the instructor eating his banana. "Uh.." said the mishapen man. "What if, I mean, I'm norm/ I mean, Norm is my name..."

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  • There was that moment--a moment that seemed to stretch on for minutes--a moment of uneasy silence--a moment of heart-pounding, blood pressure rising silence. Norm versus instructor

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  • . Instructor versus norm. There was not other way to solve this. No other way than a dance-off.The Instructor stretched his legs and said: "I will nae nae you into oblivion Norm!."

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  • Norm’s nostrils flared at the disrespect from the instructor. Norm had no choice - he had to go all out, and fell into his signature dance routine: “The Alabama Rocket”.

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  • But Norm's instructor frowned at Norm's "Alabama Rocket" dance routine's reliance on a rocket and the state of Alabama and banished Norm from ever setting foot in his establishment

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  • for the next thirty years. So Norm had to go off without that 'fine dancing' degree that the university had claimed was accredited. He ended up getting hired by a company that

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  • Sold wardrobes, but Norm was soon fired for having inappropriate relations with Mr Tumnes in Narnia outside of his breaktime. He knew he had to get back his fine dancing degree.

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  • But where was the trail back to the studio? The newly fallen snow in Narnia covered Norm's tracks & no matter which way he turned, the forest looked the same. A lion's roar tore

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  • through the silence. Norm faced the roar, scared. “Ahem,” said the lion. “Sorry to scare you, old boy, but you want the studio?” Norm nodded. “Well, too bad!” The lion stalked him.

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