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The rain fell, noiseless. I hadn't even noticed

  • The rain fell, noiseless. I hadn't even noticed that it was raining until he put an umbrella over my head. I knew he wouldn’t ask what was wrong and I wasn't planning on offering

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  • to hold the umbrella, with my arms all bloody & slick. So he had to walk alongside me in the rain.I tried not to splatter on his nice white starched shirt. I couldn't hear the rain

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  • because the loud boom box was pressed to my ear, goading me on. Why would someone drown out the sound of rain? Why, in my pain and suffering, did he not just let the rain baptize

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  • my Satan spawn child? "This hip-hop is the Devil's music. Or is it metal?" The rain turned to blood and the boom box birthed an anaconda. Life needs parental controls and

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  • I decided to hit them. This was getting way too weird. Suddenly everything was nice and safe with no blood or anacondas, but it was a little boring, to be honest, so we decided to

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  • bite their pets. They had these little dogs and we picked them up and bit them, in the ear, the paw. They yelped and cowered. But then, they looked to us as alpha's. We'd earned th

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  • Ree years worth of worthless purchases which led us to have a hige yard sale. We sold everything.

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  • Even the Heart of the World. Our daughter, Sunshine, kept it in her Hope Chest with her victims. The last time one got out I had confiscated it and we ended up selling it in the ya

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  • -wning chasm of crap that we had accumulated over the years. The man who bought it from us told us he would use it as his personal slave, but later we learned that he had married

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  • and his wife disapproved of owning crap chasms teeming with slave labor. They say you can still hear the cries of the crap chasm nannies, down by old dockyards...

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