Annaconda Bill could devour entire ferral
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Annaconda Bill could devour entire ferral guinea hogs in juicy kentucky liver mumbo, not omitting poached quail, roasted squirrel-on-a-stick, trotters, undercooked venison, whale
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giblets, elephant sweetbreads, and charred tripe. But when Anaconda Bill discovered a tremendous pile of Cindy Lou McClintock's famously foul fruitcake, he had met his match.
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Anaconda Bill slithered into the nearest shop and purchased a putrid-smelling pound of the popular fruitcake. It was then he recognized Cindy Lou & Company's secret ingredient.
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But by then, Bill was behind the times. He'd always been, clothed as he was in pink polyester. This time however, his lack of foresight was deadly. He flung the fruitcake out the
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window, out towards the grassy knoll where the fruitcake hit the back of Joe Biden's head with such force that it killed him.Peeking out the window,Bill saw what he'd done, he ran.
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Who knew that skeet shooting with stale bakery goods could be so dangerous? Pastry flakes and stale crumbs flew from every pocket as he skidded down the hill, landing in a
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briar patch before smashing into a tar baby who molded itself against himself and his pastries as they exploded through a chicken farm, squawking and shouting in a treacly manner,
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The tomatoes were just chomping at the bit to fall off the vine and be eaten by Farmer Edamski and family. There were thousands of them, so some went to farmers markets, where
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they had a chance to pick the best farmers. Each had their own ideal farmer based on their own preferences. One tomato was heard saying that it was the color of her farmer's eyes
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that made her blush. Unfortunately she was a Green Zebra hybrid and was not supposed to be red. She woke up in a dumpster behind the Fresh Fields. A hobo was very grateful to her.
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- Started
- 2014-11-02 13:42:43
- Finished
- 2017-03-07 16:13:38
7 Comments
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LordVacuity Mar 07 2017 @ 16:15
Gotta love those grateful hobos.
LordVacuity Mar 07 2017 @ 16:16
That must be why the Gas Masked Socialite likes them so much.
Woab Mar 07 2017 @ 16:29
Hee hee! Man, I'm getting punchy following you around ending stories.
LordVacuity Mar 08 2017 @ 16:23
Don't get punch love in with me and we make might make it through this night alive. Fedora just walked around the corner and spied Hat Pin and Cravat in the Nash. They have not yet seen him but he just saw me. He has paused to weigh it all out. In or out. It seems he has chosen Out. He left the way he came. He left a subtle tell on the wall as he did so.
LordVacuity Mar 08 2017 @ 16:24
That meant he had accomplices.
Woab Mar 09 2017 @ 10:20
Alas, I am too weird and old to fall too in love or drink too much punch.
SlimWhitman Jul 31 2018 @ 16:06
O - this is back when I thought it was fun to write alphabetical folds - Anaconda Bill could show again I suppose. ...and hobos used to bbe a much-loved sujet here too. I think I'm getting too old for punch too!