A sandwich is a sandwich.

A sandwich is a sandwich.

Unless, of course it's a kitten. In that case it's a sandwich with a fur coat, thought Carl, making himself laugh. The real joke was though, that he was being tracked by a lion

and to a lion, a kitten really is a sandwich. So where does that leave us, wondered Carl--giggling despite the imminent lion attack. A kitten is a sandwich, unless of course

there is a six foot hero nearby, so that the kitten becomes merely a lion hors d'oevre. Carl couldn't help but be hungry and wondered what kitten tasted like. The lion attacked

and Carl and the kitten both ran, but the kitten ran under the lion, leaving Carl there alone in the lion's gaze,wishing for a whip, a chair and a

sleigh because carl might be able to convince this lion that he was santa claus bringing him a chair for christmas and just then a sleigh dropped out of the sky crushing

to death two reindeer, an elf, his mother, a bag of presents, a snowman constructed by a local child, a bag of doritos and someone's cat all under its terrible weight. "Merry Chris

is dead!" screamed Merry Chris' mother. Festivus had been ruined.

Merry Chris's next target was Talk Like A Pirate day.

Merry unleashed the four reindeer of the apocalypse upon Jack Sparrow's Somalian base, ridding the world of all pirate dialects. And thus the last of the Pastafarians were killed.