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Gloomy Gus made a fuss whenever his truss

  • Gloomy Gus made a fuss whenever his truss filled with pus. He took the bus

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  • to see the female bus driver, called Oops.

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  • 'Oops, Oops Talula is my name, she sang every morning in the shower. But that was her secret name, secret that is to all except

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  • her sister, "Chalula." Tatula was nice, but Chalula was fiery. She was spicy. Everybody wanted to take her top off and shake her, get her juice all over their meat. Tatula was

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  • Greasing up the bowling pin. Donkey Show my ass. I'm gonna rock this town like a bi-racial baby in a factory. Pilgrims should have shot bobcat so Pussy was on the menu. Bring it

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  • on, I thought, steeling my nerves for what was next. Just then, in the distance I saw approaching directly toward me, a herd of mutant pygmy

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  • Paris Hilton clones. Each mutant pygmy Paris was trampling its own self esteem while flashing its vag or saying how hot something was.I doused a Prada bag with flesh eating disease

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  • and left it for airport security to deal with later. Any bag unattended is quickly seized in case it

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  • has anything that fits Frank in it. Frank heads up TSA and his slogan is 'If we did our job any better, we'd have to buy you dinner first.' He joined up right after 9/11 and gets

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  • tired easily, often remaining in bed for the entire holiday. But Frank was going to keep their secret. He was the one vinyl-gloved crusader that could be counted on.

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