Out of the mouth of failure

Out of the mouth of failure

comes opportunity. WTF? He traveled for weeks through the mountains and climbed to this remote cave for that? Sobbing, he called to the monk,

who said to him yoda-like, "Your impatience betrays you. You found in the cave only what you brought with you. Quiet your thoughts and then approach it again."

And then I thought to hell with Jenine Geraffalo. She talks that mess like she's yoda, just because she's short with a cat face doesn't make her a Jedi Master so I reclaimed

her on my taxes as dependent #3 and then e-filed. Now, what to do with the $2,700 refund?! That's a lot of potatoes said Wilbur. True, but there was a sale down at

the bordello; half off on porcine prostitute repellent. Made from real pig tails. I knew a big guy named Hagrid who could make pig tails on the cheap, and contacted him via the

the pocket elf I secreted in my pants. "Pleasure AND telepathy AND a good gofer to boot", I laughed as the pointy eared creature took my message to Hagrid.

The elf-on-the-shelf-cum-pants-pocket gremlin scuttlebutted away to Hagrid, who stood stoically on top of Christmas Mountain. The elf's tiny hand shook as he held my message up to

the light so he could read the invisible ink. The naughty little elf read the message &glared. UR going 2 send me a pic of a hairy guy in a leopard thong? It takes more than that