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I don't want to drop it. I want to run. I

  • I don't want to drop it. I want to run. I want you to chase me. Come play. I'll lick you. Seriously. Ok, that does it. I'm gonna lick you. Damn it. I dropped the ball. Gah. Gotta

    3
  • pick it back up now...or should I leave it? I want to play ball but run, too. Pick it up, leave it - I can't decide! WOOF. Woof. I'll just keep wagging my tail until you join me.

    3
  • THERE IZ A CAT!!! THERE IS A BIRD!!!! LOOK!!! GRASS!!! WATCH ME ROLL IN IT!!! OOH A FROG!!!! I'M GONNA YELL AT IT UNTIL IT GOES AWAY!!! I WANNA MAKE A HOLE!!! HEY!! I THINK I

    4
  • POOD ON DA CARPET!!! RUFF!!! LOOK!! POSTMAN!!! I WANNA PLAY WIT YOU!!! PLAY WIT ME!!! DONT RUN AWAY!!! LET ME PLAY WIT YOU!!!

    4
  • The dreaming dog was unaware of the device that was just then slipped over its head like a hi-tech crown of thorns, allowing the scientists to observe its thoughts as if watching a

    5
  • really long and boring avant garde film. Long shots of a dog dish. Another dog'd poophole. A squirrel. A pile of poop. A pissed-off cat. The dreaming dog device was providing no

    5
  • relief from my dozens of ailments as claimed on TV. About to toss it in the trash, I noticed the "full power" switch. I flipped it and stuck the dreaming dog device in my pants.

    5
  • An hour later I was well enough to attend my company's Man of the Year award…that I won! Standing on the stage, there was shrill barking & a flurry of activity from my crotch area.

    5
  • a as the slobbering daemon that lived in my trousers was poised and ready to attack. "I'M THE FREAKING MAN OF THE YEAR!!" I scream, unleashing my member of dismemberment. My boss

    3
  • walked in the door right at that very moment, rolled his eyes, sighed, and said, "OK, OK, OK...You can take your vacation days. For God's sake, GO!" I leapt up & was outta there!

    4

2 Comments

  1. PurpleProf Jul 20 2019 @ 19:07

    Everyone needs a vacation now and then.

  2. IceSquad Jul 22 2019 @ 00:18

    The way I see it, it's the job that we NEED. The vacation we welcome.

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