I tend to procrastinate and sit on Facebook

I tend to procrastinate and sit on Facebook too much when I should be

getting out on doing something while the sun is up. How many sunrises and sunsets have I got after all? Lessee - say 80 years times 364 days, oh wait leap years so its 364 1/4.

I would find my best friends and go buy all the twinkies in the world and go start an army of

swiss-cake-soldier-pioneers! This army, however, should not seek to wage war against any physical people or body, but rather a Robin Hood war against hunger for the impoverished.

So they waged the War of Robin Hood against hunger for the impoverished, which turned out sucky. First, the concept "hunger for the impoverished" turned out to be extremely

expensive to print on 40,000 buttons. Their budget was exhausted before any food was acquired. Second, who knew there were so many other copycat organizations collecting food for

thought? Like clockwork, our every thought was met with a swiftly delivered sweet potato. Just thinking about it makes me... what's that? A potato... for me? What's the catch?

Gronk, the benevolent alien, looked down at his matter transference beam. He wanted to feed the world by transmitting manna via brain waves. Sadly, all he could send was yams.

He yawned, then exclaimed:'Oh well, let them eat yams!'