No one thinks I am smart but they are wrong.

No one thinks I am smart but they are wrong. They just see a guy behind the video rental counter and think, dropout. But I am smart. And I know all their little foibles and

the kinds of things they think about at eleven thirty on a lonely Friday night. Their video rental histories were at my disposal. She glanced at "9 1/2 Weeks" and then at me.

Then she barfed in my lap. I'm gross, but really am I that gross? I put my shirt back on and scooped the barf into the ashtray. She said, "Sorry." I offered her a tube sock to wipe

off her face. What did I do to deserve this date from hell? Sorry? Sorry? She could have given me a heads up about the projectile vomitting about to occur!

I get splattered by the most vile, pungent puke I have ever encountered in my life. She let out a meek "Sorry." while I was left wiping myself. That's it, i'm tired, i'm going to

actually start wondering why I'm part of yet another story that revolves around cows and body fluids."Curiouser and curiouser!" I cried, as I began to realize that the human psyche

really does revert to one's true interests when left untended. Now if only I could combine my love for all things bovine, and viscous. I hopped online and logged onto

"cows in labor.com" and got myself a job.Vice President,cause you have to start somewhere and pride is an ugly thing.So,flying to Texas I thought about

her. She couldn't kill a cow at 20 yards with that thing but I wanted her to. Oh man, to have a good steak right now would make everything all right.