All I ask of you today is to listen to my

  • All I ask of you today is to listen to my story with an open mind, for this story is unconventional, and you my find it just damn' weird. It all started when

  • I was a little girl. I was only 5, and I was exposed to things no 5 year old should see. My mummy and daddy broke up, and my daddy was sad so he took me with him to a brothel.

  • It was a truly frightening place, where people get together and cook broth together. It was frightening because as a small child, the unbearable heat was, well, unbearable.

  • "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen." Said his mother. She was always steaming mad and he didn't want to stir the pot. Too many cooks spoil the broth so he simmere

  • d on the back burner for a while. It was high time he cut the apron strings from his mother. She was always in a stew & frankly, he'd wanted to shove his bun into Sara Lee's oven.

  • To stir things up, he told his mum he was moving out to be with Sara Lee. That really burned her biscuits! She said, 'Son, you're going to knead more dough to be self supportive."

  • But he wanted his cake & wanted to eat it too. He wanted Sara Lee. She was cheesecake, creamy & delicious. Her partially-hydrogenated filling clung to his yeasty mustache. He

  • hungrily devoured all of her, to her immense pleasure. Nobody didn't like it. Afterward, the muffin man helped Sara back into her coverings and headed back to Drury Lane. There, he

  • he asked a Pearly King and Queen to marry them. Sara and the Muffin Man were married under the peals of St Clements and they dined on Oranges & Lemons at their Wedding Dinner. Lond

  • on was so pretty this time of year. Sara & MuffinMan were finally happy. As the sun started to set, they were thrilled their scurvy was bound to be cured & they lived happily 4eva.



  1. lucielucie Feb 04 2014 @ 14:45

    *sigh* I love a happy ending.

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