*Gasp* The crowd gasped as a dark shadow

*Gasp* The crowd gasped as a dark shadow grew over the city. Peter Parker looked at the source of the shadow and gasped. He took off his glasses and ripped his shirt. It was time.

Pizza time. Peter Parker, now donned in his Spiderman suit, shot a web from his wrist and leaped onto a nearby lamp post. "You think you can best me, shadowy villain!"

Spiderman yelled at Oprah. He shot a web right into her cleavage.

wrapped around the inspiring woman, cocooning her like a particularly tasty insect. Oprah's sassy retorts were muffled as Spiderman moved around her, twisting the strands

around her perfectly coifed hair and designer outfit until she was nothing but an Oprah-shaped mass of Spiderman silk. "You'll hear from my sponsors!" Oprah yelled from inside the

famous hair dressing Salon Split Endzo. The Spiderman Silk woman trembled, "I can't help the way I was made." She tried to make a quick exit but stuck to everything.

Her long locks reminded one of Lady Godiva, the legendary brunette. It was lady Godiva vwho she bumped into and who grabbed the scissors so spiderman silk could leave almost

with as much nothing or less than when he got there. Surely not with more. Godiva wasn't a brunette and to prove it I ripped off her kilt to reveal that she wasn't a lady either.

I paused then, to let the full effect of my story sink in. Junior's eyes grew wide in realization. "...and was she?" he asked. "I'll tell you tomorrow," I replied. "Sweet dreams!"