as the baby Murphy the elephant roamed through

as the baby Murphy the elephant roamed through the plaines with his mother, he wondered when dad would come home. he was tired & hungry. why did dad have to leave during the move.

Within days, my hopes and prayers were answered. I was huddled beneath my covers, ignoring the alarm as long as possible, when there was a knock at the front door. I flung the

cat out the window and ran for the door. The package was here! I ran to the kitchen and opened it up. There it was--the Philter. If this wouldn't make Jane love me, nothing would.

Then again, the latter was probably more likely. Jane never loved anyone, and honestly, I was the kind of man she would change for. Nevertheless, it was worth

investing in couples' therapy. Our first appointment didn't go so well. "So why do you feel you have to change for this guy?" the therapist asked, fixing Jane in his beady glare.

My wife's brow furrowed & she thought long and hard. her clueless expression showed how badly the shrink had stumped her. "Beats me, Dr. Luster. I should've married YOU!" I cringed

And sat there silently, knowing the medication prescribed was way better than a lobotomy. Dr. Luster was no lobotomist, thankfully. She would have needed a referral. There was none

to be had for miles around, not after the utter depletion of the Referral Mines in `77. There was a black market, for sure, but Dr. Luster was on the straight and narrow. She would

hope that the forceps she needed would be sold at police auction several months after the contraband was taken in through evidence and trial. That was how to keep herself clean.